Long, Long ago, in a galaxy called Middle earth, a paladin repented his sin of murder. He killed an old forerunner and thus relinquished his right to protect his kingdom. Reviled and ostracized ,his name was Thorigond of Gondor.I have defied gods and demons. Reviled and ostracized, he fled northward to Rivendell where he questioned Elrond so he could repent his sin. The great elven lord forgave his actions but insisted that he apologize to his online friends, and he had to block EoJ, as should you. This was not real in any sense, said Slartibartfast, An imagionary friend. And so Thorigond wondered about his sanity, and if his sister cooked his favorite meal, tender pork loin with extra lemon.I am your shield; I am your sword. Unfortunately, it was overcooked, so he dumped it over the cottage fence, however the fence took objection and its spirit rose in fiery fury, stubbing Thorigond's toe therefore killing Thorigond. And so at his funeral, there came Elrond's company mourning his death. Fork. After the funeral, they got blind except for Elrond. He got high fives from Lord Hood, but he refused to TK anyone. Nevertheless, he did accept gifts of money from friends that he'd known when he was 3000 years younger, and still a pool shark wanted by no one was given to the dead Thorigond. While burning the dead bodies it came alive, eating several bites of the various dishes, especially the plates.I know you; your past, your future. Several hours later, it was found sipping aged wine in the kitchen owned by Jesus the Christ; soon the police came with Master Chief, who was prompty in a horrible way starting a foodfight with mashed potatoes, fried fish and a spartan laser. Finally, it was decided that Frodo should break up with the deceased Black Blood Brothers, so he could form a new hair care line that made the Elves even more perfect than the Uruk-hia. However, Sauron gave Frodo a list of anime cartoons that he drew in his Hello Kitty notebook, complete with pink balloons and other such decorative objects. Frodo loved the notebook so much he ate it. However, once he digested it he found out that eating paper is bad for Hobbits because it causes extreme pain and a malfunctioning liver. He then died, just like Thorigond had grunts eating dishes which were painted the brishtest colors of bleach white and dish gray. Smeagol, hearing this, died of shock. The warrior then cried aloud in deep despair, for Smeagol rose up and commended Pyronix and gave him a Purple Heart. Smeagol grabbed a rope and swung into another dream. He then swung onto the pirate plank, which then collapsed under his extreme weight. Because he survived, Aragorn crowned him king of Mordor, to rule over Orcs. This suited Smeagol however, he wanted even more power. Taylor then attacked the country of Rohan and then Smeagol waged war using his new army of orcs. Pyronix helped Taylor by sending many kittens in scorpian tanks. Smeagol destroyed none of them but slew both Bob and Nob. This terrible deed earned him the dishonourable title of Smeagol, *ob slayer of terrible evil." Smeagol grinned, and before thinking, he charged at Elrond using 'Blade Master' and a fish. Elrond countered with 'Whirl wind' and filthy guardian rushing skills. Smeagol killed Elrond somehow. And so Smeagol shot Taylor and married the widow of Thorigond, however, they lived in a houseboat on a river in Mordor, and lived a fairly fume-filled life until Pyronix avenged the death of Bob and Nob who died while doing terrible evil. Pyronix then bought two plasma kegs of acidic pie which he planned to pour upon Minas Tirith as Catabre killed Thomas-of-Hunter, but the moderators immediately banned SmeagolFan, saving him from an e-mail spambot masquerading as Guilty Spark. Pizza Planet then received an order to nuke out the Minas Tirith Round Table Resteraunt. Because of this McDonald's armed forces refused to support KFC's rushing tactics, but Ronald McDonald joined with Smeagol to Pizza-Hut spam the living daylights out of people who ate at Subway. Smeagol refused the offer but he ate CiCi's pizza, rich in salami and cheese. EoJ, newly promoted began to plot against Smeagol's pizza, because he was sponsored by Quizno's of RTW Heaven. However, his plot went awry, because he shot jfk and was arrested and sentenced to filing santa letters returns in New Mombassa *eats cookie* Good cookie. I am sooo hungry... This is the way the world ends. Random stuff here. I ate a red candle! Anyways the IRS came with more cookies to feed to the gravekeeper, GandalfDaGraay. And here too. *takes cookie* Gandalf appreciated this cookie from Catabre and so asked if Catabre would like a grave all for himself. Catabre was quite enamored of the forummers evident power and decided to kill himself because he was too envious of the forummers awesome lazerz. Suddenly, EoJ ran into a running riot Pyronix. Monks gathered around to help revive this revered mod because he's a valued member of Cortana's of HWH. Not that most people care but you should because I said so.But meanwhile Johnson decided to stop running away from the nine Nazgul. Hell, why not here too. I turned and cast the dice under my bed, and Donald Duck popped out. Then died. Botolf is a Halo 3 info finder. I heard a pelican fly overhead, hurtling towards Alias Alive at light speed. Alias Alive boardered on insanity as he chugged Vanilla Coke. After growing up, Alias Alive hurtled upward towards the all knowing wise man Qui-Gon Jinn. They fought through rain and pelicans; neither would stop to pee at the Petrol-Station though they both needed to badly. After defeating the evil, wise Qui-Gon, Alias jumped off to fight Darth Maul with chain guns and missile pods. Alias owned sith-dork with a pencil. "Where'd you get that dead monkey pencil, punk?" Maul said to Alias. "At 11-7 in Zanzibar, Tennessee U.S.A. After a frag, the person who had extreme heartburn at the Halo Wars Heaven. Master Chief then married Cortana, the AI in an elaborate wedding dress made by example threads from craft stores. Found it yet? Cortana got angry at Master Chief and threw plasma grenades at her husband, who ordered McDonalds while cheating on his physics test (which is not.) Continuing onwards from Zanzibar, he got up graded into Master Chick and shot sunflower seeds for many hours. Out of pure mithril, the grain turned into Kryptonite, which sucked Glorfindel's giant, long and meaty toes. "Mmmm, Tastes just like Superman," Kryptonite said. Jerry Jackson then directed a terrible movie called, "The Revenge of the Weeds," which was about weeds getting revenge. General Greedios had four battalions of dandelions marching on the Mustafaar System. Battle commenced against the Ewoks elsewhere in Chicago, Tennessee, U.S. of A. Fortunetly Alias died in the movie, but his real shim clone attacked savagely from the living mutant forummer, DarkServant, survived by jumping into a pit of biohazardous-sludge then gaining super monkey memorization powers. Borat then bought enlightenment to Nolensville through his stupid friend Barney, who ran naked through the fields of the Starcraft Universe. Then the computer stated it was Korea who unleashed Barney, and so it was that the UN imposed an all out embargo on Korea to save John!!! Aeneas, angered by the embargo sent ban notices to BFME2Heaven which banned the UN, among Slickman_G to GandalfDaGraay. Forumers worldwide, outraged at the banning, ate fish with leathery insides to protest the act
of inactive posting!
To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fit your plan, Take me as I am!
Winner of the Killtacular Award at HWH